October - November 2001
Don't Look At This
Impossible, right? That is the reality
of "avoid temptation" or "deny desire."
Does this not inspire the senses, the
imagination and the deep need to experience? To taste and smell,
to observe, to witness, to participate? The desire to feel, to
be natural, to be alive? This is the Genesis. This is your origin,
lush and fruitful.
Yet in many, what you see in this image
engenders guilt, shame, fear and violence. It is described as
the root of all evil, the scourge of civilization. Control, hatred,
revenge, murder and suicide are all attributed to this experience.
Beauty is in the awareness of the beholder.
Behold: fucking, the dance of the creation
of life. Here, the elements mix. The vulva, or yoni, is moist
and warm in anticipation of being penetrated. The penis, firm
and hot and craving its counterpart, has secreted its own moisture,
and in both participants, the element Water gathers inside. Desire
is Fire. The body is Earth, and the breath it conducts is Air
and Prana. We join, and explore the membrane of awareness
where two separate points of conscioiusness verge on becoming
one.
If my female partner is relaxed and
is able to drop deep within her awareness, and I am blessed,
her body and spirit may yeild to orgasm upon orgasm in a succession
of waves, drawing me deeper into my surrender, drawing me into
herself, for it is to her that I ultimately, and inevitably,
surrender. The energy might open in such a way that I join her
through this peak after wave of ex-stasis, movement or ecstasy,
bathing in the universe of her Yin force. Or, I might be pulled
in with a power beyond my own body, drawn toward her, feeling
I have no choice but to give my seed to her.
Orgasm and ejaculation may arrive at
the same moment, or at times distanced enough to feel each distinctly
in its experience.
It is often said that sex is more a
vulnerable experience for women than it is for men. But to those
men who feel, the moments of orgasm and ejaculation into the
body and soul of a woman are among the most deeply exposed expressions
of totality ever known.
If she can see my face, I allow her
to know an aspect of myself I will never see. I might speak or
moan her name: in that moment, the name of the Goddess, the word
of eternal life. I have no control. Orgasm has reduced my emotions
to an unknowable ritual language. Ejaculation hurls my body beyond
any feeling, and is a seizure of pleasure, release, grief, a
space of totality, and the semen jets from the core of my reality
and pulses, hot and strong, against her precious cervix, flooding
the space within her.
Our waters mix. Our lives mix. This
is the moment of creation of existence: of new life, whether
a child is born, or not.
We may say that "sex is not love,"
but those who forget the love of the body may soon forget the
love of the heart and of the spirit.