October - November 2001

Among Women

In case you haven't noticed, I think it's best to write about sex, astrology, or anything else, for that matter, from a personal perspective, based on real experiences, my own inner awareness and what people have told me personally. But especially sex.

One of those experiences is the joy of women in harmony.

Women in harmony? Is this not an oxymoron, like act naturally, airline food, British fashion or serial monogamy? Do we not just know that women are raised or perhaps born to mistrust and undermine one another, to compete and to honor no limits in that game? And were they not taught this by men, as a divide and conquer tactic (as the feminists tell us)? Or did they learn it from mom, as part of their basic training for planetary survival and perpetuating the war between the sexes (mom having been so throughly impressed by dad)?

It may not matter if we want to solve the problem. We don't often recognize the process, but most of our ideas of social organization are based on rather vicious principles that undermine and limit us at every step. They are based on domination and the denial of mutual interests, which is a keynote of Scorpio.We feel the results as scarcity, isolation, and, most thrilling of all, chaos in our personal relationships, chaos that often sufraces as sex, secrecy and money issues. All of this is the result of inner fragmentation.

So let me state this theory straightforward-like. We are at war with ourselves and in conflict with one another. They are the same thing.

Fragmentation of this kind spreads from within to all relationships... whether we call them friendships or lover situations, room-mate scenarios, family relationships or something blending all of these (as marriage ideally would). We could, and do need, to look closely at what both men and women are taught about themselves and about one another, and not presume this is the way things have to be, if, of course, we want things to be different.

Women in Harmony

There is another dimension of woman, let's call her Goddess-conscious, or Self-conscious, or seeking awareness, who remembers the community, safety and pleasure that is possible when women are mutually supportive, work together, and especially when they don't need to get catty about men. Let's add this quality to the long list of good things forgotten and needing to be remembered. Let's add this to the list of fun ways to spend the afternoon, or one's life -- and do so remembering that life is created by sex, and that healthy sex celebrates life and human contact.

Let's remember that religion has taught us to be ashamed of being alive.

Ancient Taoist and Tantric texts have a lot to say on this theme, but I want to stick to the basic idea that I've found, as a man, it's really healthy and deeply pleasurable to be among women in harmony. I mean this both erotically and socially, not forgetting creative situations, either.

I speak to women as well here. Your life will be better if the men around you are in harmony. To many this may seem impossible: the men in your life may not have even heard of one another, much less ever spoken to one another, and you might regard this as terrifying or catastrophic were it to happen. But if you look at the harmonizing as an inner experience where seemingly disconnected parts of yourself begin a dialog and start admitting things honestly to one another, the world slowly changes. This is what I have found, anyway.

I have found that it helps to ask those seemingly separate parts to connect. I do so in my inner world, and as they appear in the outer world, in the form of people, in the same room and see what we all have to say to one another.

When hearts are open and when communication is clear, and when intentions are understood, speaking can become touching. But it is not necessary that people touch: only that we tell the truth about how we feel.